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I am afraid

I am afraid to love, and yet I love you.
My fear is like a wall I walk right through.
The wall is there, and yet it doesn't stop me.
I need it still, and yet I still need you.

I know someday we will be in a field
Surrounded by the blessing of the sky.
I'll dance with all the freedom of pure joy,
Needing you without a reason why.

But now I'm still afraid that I might lose you,
That you might not accept my desperate need.
You make me laugh and cry and be completely.
You are the flower, I the slender reed.

I will not let you go

I want you, but I don’t want you to know.
I fear the loss more than I trust the gain.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

Nor do I have the courage to bestow
My love on you, that you might see me plain.
I want you, but I don't want you to know.

I fear your presence like an undertow
That drags me out unready, trite, inane.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

And yet when you are near I feel you glow
Like sunlight dancing through my windowpane.
I want you, but I don't want you to know.

Empty but for you, I cannot show
You anything of interest I contain.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

 I am a box within a box, safe so.
Sealed from self, I hide from your disdain.
I want you, but I don't want you to know.

You are my love. I will not let you go.

Trust Me With Your Heart

by Kathleen Sheppard